It's not just you
We need to look out for each other!
I know this isn’t basic everyday entertainment, but that’s part of the problem you’re facing. Addiction is everywhere. That’s why some of us don’t see it in others, we’re too busy with our own. It’s an uncomfortable topic and it’s become more acceptable to justify and even fetishize an addiction. It’s socially acceptable and fine for people to do the same thing for hours everyday but as soon as you start talking about it you’re crazy, were so uncomfortable outside our to typical conversations.
Question: do you remember your first time, remember how you said it’s only one time? Well let me tell you that you’re not that child who explored porn out of curiosity anymore, but it’s still just as good and even easier for you now… Another question: how far have you come? Has much changed for you? Or are you still doing the same thing over and over like there is no escape?
If you’re like most people who watch porn, porn has probably affected your life more (and worse) than you realise. Some people watch porn and get hooked, it’s simple. This is one of those “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone” clichés but that’s fact. So you need to quit and see for yourself. It’s really unfortunate but you’ve created this prison in your mind which you’ve put yourself into; so I hope it’s time for some of you reading this to escape.
How do you even prison yourself?
Without language, the only way we could speak would be with our actions- that’s the real language of the universe. And you can’t forget a language you’ve learnt most of your life in a day (it takes a few years for anyone curious), and you need to learn another language (btw thoughts are actions translated into language) which is why you’re so used to what you’re doing, it’s part of you.
Everything is connected. Take time out of the equation, and the common denominator is you. What you did/ what happened to you yesterday or 10 years ago doesn’t just disappear into thin air, you carry it with you everywhere you go. How else did you get to where you are today? The cover of your book is a reflection of what’s inside your book, so never underestimate the things you do, even if no one is watching them, they are a big part of your true nature.
Over a long time, addiction can change someone’s identity. That’s cause for every high there is a low. The more you do something, the more normal it becomes: as you keep going up that road, you bring yourself down in ways you don’t even know. Every porn video takes you down a little bit lower every time.
What was once unacceptable or ‘in moderation’ becomes a normal habit you don’t even think twice about now. Some end up going downhill, it’s not just a bad habit anymore and it becomes a part of your life. That is until you’re finished 10 minutes later & you’re wondering… now what? Then repeat the process anyway.
The prison doesn’t get worse – you become weaker.
Guilt doesn’t even make a difference, if you were so guilty why would yo do it? (You need guilt before you do it, not after). It happens to everyone; some people justify it, some dig their feelings, ignore it (typical), use it as a coping mechanism, embrace it (with delusion) while others fight the disease and get better.
And most of you fight the addiction but somehow end up worse than when you started
Is it because the feeling is too overwhelming? Does it flow through your blood? You’re too turned on? There have been over 100 billion people on this planet, but no one has yet to figure out the power of our brain. But one thing that we know is that our brain hates change (look at the world today and 6,000 years ago, we still have the same problems like poverty, war, inequality, separation etc.).
You see, your approach is wrong cause you probably get stuck in loops of thinking the same thing and end up with struggling repetitive negative thoughts. So to make things worse is that your guilt comes after you’ve done it. That’s when you’re at your lowest (after orgasm) because now you realise it wasn’t worth it. And when you’re at your lowest you’re more vulnerable:
So when you feel less worthy, stupid, ashamed or whatever you weaken yourself. What happens is that you start digging your own grave. Not only are you now harming your physical body but also your mental health, and that will leave you vulnerable. What happens is you start fighting yourself, and since the only change comes from inside you’re setting yourself up and that’s painful. And change is even harder when you’re depressed because vulnerability invites all kinds of negativity so one way to fight is to be more happy.
- When the mind is focused on something, you will get it: so make sure you want change more. If people wanted to be as successful as they wanted sex, the world would be different lol.
–Have hope: it’s powerful beyond imagination, every cell in your body can fight with you! For some the cure is real hope in a better future and that they can do it. “A man with no vision for his future will always return to his past.”
Watch out for emotions: you will fall into self-doubt (Especially when your brain is adjusting to the lack of regular dopamine rushes) and not just about No Nut November, but anything can trigger you to feel sorry for yourself and make you want to fap the feelings away or watch porn to ignore the feelings…
–From now on, actually confront your emotions. Or positively distract yourself cause that’s better than feeling guilty after that and potentially ruining your day.
You will always succeed. But life will give you another test to see if you mess up. And until you conquer the enemy inside of yourself, you can’t really go forward or be real to yourself.
- You will ALWAYS feel like you deserve/need to watch porn, there will always be an excuse and you will always be deserving of it. You will think I’ll just watch a little bit or whatever excuse you told yourself… Don’t fall for it. Don’t do it. when those thoughts start kicking in, do whatever it takes to get rid of them. Before you know it, you’re relapsing for a few seconds of joy.
–And if you’re on that website, the moment you realise that you shouldn’t be doing this > take all the real courage you have and quickly close the page.
Find the ability to adapt “If you are brave enough to say goodbye, life will present you with a new hello” replace the habit with something else you can do around the house that preferably doesn’t include a device (don’t stay in the same place you’re vulnerable). Either adapt to change or get left behind. –Google what to do when bored for example: https://www.dailydot.com/irl/what-to-do-when-youre-bored-at-home/
- Advice for young people: You might be think that you’ll grow up and everything will just automatically be better? It doesn’t magically happen, you have to DO that now. You need to understand that it will always be you from the day you are born to the day you die. At school you’ve been taught that knowledge is the most important thing. It’s not, success has never been about how much you know, it’s about how much you understand and do. You can read 100 books about riding a bike, but you’ll fall off. And that’s why your knowledge has no real value. Start doing things now, don’t wait because that’s a trap most older people fell for because everyone else has accepted the reality that everyone else is doing it.
Let me tell you a story; there was a homeless man who had nothing and he was at the lowest point of his life. One day that same homeless man had a family, became a billionaire and even ran for president AND he didn’t even work hard! Do you know how he did it? He lived to the age of 500, so all he had was just more time!! Don’t laugh at my stupid story lol. The point is, if we had unlimited time you could really do anything you know!
If you catch on to stuff like this early in your life, you have a better chance at succeeding because you won’t be as miserable at 30 cause you wasted your youth and destroyed your future. You won’t need to recover from the trauma, you will grow both physically and mentally. Don’t teach yourself to do the same thing day in day out. Try new things, find out more, read and play outside more! Also quit fortnite and read books lol.
- Advice for religious people: 1. We all fight the demons within us cause the devil will tell you a lie in your own voice. The devil will only show you the good joy and high but not the bad. He won’t show you the entire process where you’re slowly destroying yourself. It’s up to you to hold your head and tell yourself you’re better. You can’t be a slave to him, you don’t need it and you can do without.
2. when you think about sinning you usually have 1 or 2 big sins in mind while disregarding smaller ones and other things that you’re doing wrong in life. Don’t reward yourself for not committing any big sins while walking over everyone else = ignorance.
3. You’re jeopardizing your faith. When you know nobody is watching you; you proceed to go for it. But you also know god oversees everything? Doesn’t that mean if you really believed in god, you wouldn’t be doing this?
- Understand the power of images, videos etc. and what makes things so addicting. Dig deeper and understand what addiction means to you. Study self-control, read books, watch NoFap videos, be part of a NoFap community online (reddit or nofap.com) it will help to be with people going through the same thing. They will motivate you and when you feel the urge go on the websites (bookmark it).
A book I can suggest is Russel Brand’s The program. Here is a quick summary of it: https://www.russellbrand.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/russell-brand-recovery-the-program.pdf
- Be responsible and smarter– Don’t just admit your flaws and not work on them and fall back everytime you get stressed, that will put you in a loop dummy. So don’t click on everything, unfollow people who can get to you (your ex/crush/insta thots/soft nudes etc.), make the SM algorithms work for you. Change your approach with women -don’t stare at females and be more respectful of them. Stop seeing them as sex objects and people like you and me.
- You might not be horny, this might be the coping mechanism in a life you need to change.
You can read this page again but it’s not real to you cause it’s just a bunch of words (which are shapes) constructed into sentences. I could talk to you all day but deep down the only thing you understand is how fun it is to masturbate, and that’s why you’ll keep failing. Sometimes you have to make the choice, and only know why you made that choice after you make it.
methods and techniques
Firstly, before I begin: Stop being so damn ignorant cause your ignorance is what got you here in the first place. Be honest with yourself man! “The man that knows himself knows his limits”. If you don’t like something about yourself, ******* change it then. Don’t tell yourself I don’t see myself doing this or that, this technique seems to stupid or whatever. You’re the one who got yourself in this mess, maybe you shouldn’t listen to everything you say… If you are not willing to change the way you do things, how tf should things change for you?
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THERE IS ONE WAY TO INSTANTLY WIN NO NUT NOVEMBER?
- (Literally) Do anything else. Be a free spirit. Just get off your desk or bed and find something else. It doesn’t matter what it is, get your mind off it (stare at the pigeons in your garden, doesn’t matter). Freedom is beautiful, don’t let PMO be your only form of cheap entertainment when the world already has everything you could ever need.
- Laugh it off: This actually works well with urges that come from BLAST (bored, lonely, angry, stressed, or tired) where you’re ‘out of balance’. What you have to do is get yourself to a state of equilibrium by smiling and focusing on your breath and appreciating where you are right now without porn. Get out of that tunnel that leads to nowhere, peacefully kick out the urges that flow through you like they are about to take you over. Now with a clear mind remember you, your powers, your aims and what’s really best for you.
- Do it with your friend. It’s likely that they are also watching porn regularly. Make a deal with your friends, accept help. Drop it casually in a conversation if you’re shy to ask.
- Be honest with yourself: “The man that knows himself knows his limits” – study what makes you do it, why, and how you can quit. Just don’t be ignorant to your own actions, that’s some of the worse thing you can do really it’s BS.
- Skippy analogy (my fav)
“I used to be so reactive to life, like a beginner fighter. I would breathe heavy, panic and flail about as soon as I experienced a tiny bit of challenge. Whereas now, I’m calmer, more centred, I relax into my life and confidently handle problems strategically and with a lot more force. My work and relationships have never been better. I just don’t get rocked any more.
The biggest turn around for me started when I stop trying to give up PMO and started substituting PMO. I’m going to use a bizarre metaphor that really helped me to change my perspective. There used to be this old show in Australia called Skippy the Bush Kangaroo. It’s pretty much Lassie with a kangaroo. Some moron kid would fall down a well and Skippy would rush out to some adults and hassle them. Jumping around all agitated and in their face. Eventually one bright spark would be like “I think Skip wants us to follow him” and he leads him them to the well and saves the day.
What has this got to do with PMO? Well, I started viewing my urges like Skippy. When they showed up, jumping around and pulling my attention, it meant something was wrong. It meant I was hungry, tired, needed to exercise or find something productive to do with my time. I stop viewing my urges as this all-powerful force that I was helpless against and more like a dopey animal instinct that was telling me I’m doing something that I should not be doing.
Secondly, I started realising the pattern that brought Skippy in my life and stopped playing defence and started playing offence. When your urges start showing up, if means you are doing something wrong, your defences are weak, and you need to fight back with extra effort. In a way, you’ve already lost the first battle. But to win the war and stop leaning on your willpower in those heated moment, you need to go on the attack against your urges.”
6. Emergency page: Write down all the bad memories of PMO (when you fucked up, staying up till 3-4am, weirdest fetishes, low point, people walking in on you etc.), create hate for it and remind yourself everytime you need to. Write a page for yourself of all the negative things of your addiction and open it up when temptations are getting serious or you even have one thought.
Or screenshot and open this page if you need to relapse:
always remember you are 2 blessed 2 be stressed
Don’t relapse because it’s only fun while it lasts but after you’ll be back exactly where you started and you’ll have to clean up the mess and deal with the consequences…
Don’t relapse because then you’ll never understanding why this is happening to you.
Don’t relapse because you’ll fall victim to the addiction rather than gain from it.
Don’t relapse because porn isn’t a harmless activity and it’s not worth shit.
Don’t relapse because don’t ever let your urges beat you for a few seconds of pleasure.
Don’t relapse because you’ll never be happy if you continue to hold onto things that also make you feel like less or prevent you from your potential.
Don’t relapse because every minute you spend looking at pornography is the time you could be spending on you.
Don’t relapse because you could be anything, you just need to take a step forward, not a step back. You will get there. Don’t relapse and you could be.
Don’t relapse, cause you know your priorities.
Don’t relapse cause they said not masturbating is BS. I don’t care what they say, aint nothing glamorous about being an addict to your own two hands. Fuck what they say, this game of life just hasn’t been good to them, don’t care what it did to them or what they say, let this life be good to you and treasure it.
Don’t relapse and don’t let this battle against addiction be the end of you. It’s not over.
Don’t relapse because you will face the same (mediocre) every time, it just doesn’t stop.
So don’t relapse because nothing changes if you don’t change.
Don’t relapse because success is not about how much you know that you’ll eventually do it some other day, it’s about what you’re doing now. If it’s not done today, why would you do it tomorrow?
Don’t relapse because everything comes with a price.
Don’t relapse because you will never have enough, porn is infinite, your choices and the moments in life aren’t.
Don’t relapse because you need to prove that you are capable of self-control.
Don’t relapse because you only know how good it feels with it, and not without it. Don’t relapse because the only
way to find out what’s on the other side is to cross that bridge and seeing what’s on the other side for yourself…
Even if you don’t believe in yourself, just know that I believe in you, I really do, so repeat after me:
I WILL DO IT THIS TIME and nothing will stop me.
7. Occupy yourself and plan: plan the days of your life and take control of things: have a checklist of goals you need to achieve for the day. Once this is done, urges show up less.
-Be some damn busy you don’t have time for urges. When I was feeling a bit rough mentally and knew I would be vulnerable if I was home
8. Mindset: Don’t see this nofap thing as a challenge, because every time you remind yourself of ‘the struggle’, such as fighting urges, you’re telling yourself you DON’T want to do it. You need to tell yourself that you are healing your mind and body, that every day you add is you going up another LEVEL! You gotta see this a computer game like Donkey Kong from the old days, where you go up a ladder to reach the next level for every day you are free from this sick addiction. That’s power man, that’s you taking control, that’s you being the man (or woman) you were destined to be!
If it has a place inside of your heart (no matter how small) you WILL (let me repeat this once more) you will return to doing it. That’s why a bigger part of you needs to KNOW this is what you NEED even though it doesn’t feel that way. Don’t just belief in yourself or your abilities cause that will result in heartbreak, believe in progress over time. Cause you’ll never fully clear your heart’s desires and what’s inside of you wanting to come out. Only looking at the negative things porn does to you is not enough and there still won’t be a change. You’ve already accepted a life like that previously so you need to turn your weakness into strength rather than just ignoring them and focusing on your strengths.
9. Visualize: If you have urges then take a long look in the mirror every time and ask yourself is it worth it?Also, look at the chair/bed you’re on when you do it and visualise yourself doing it. Realise that it’s not you under full control and this isn’t your purpose on this planet. Take a step back and see it for what it really is. Look at your screen and understand that you’re staring at a rectangle and you’re all alone.
10. Record your urges: Write down in 5’s for every time you want to watch or nut (5 10 15 20 25 etc.) and the higher points you get the closer you are to winning. (estimate in 5’s or write every urge). Do this in your notes app or a notebook idk just don’t tattoo it on your body lol.
11. Deep breath: Don’t let it overwhelm you while you’re vulnerable. Get back to your senses and laugh it off, Ask yourself “why am I thinking about this?”. Get conscious with what you’re doing (look around your room), talk to yourself, question yourself, argue with yourself. Remember your subconscious is in favour of the instant dopamine. The input you receive from your external stimuli (movie, sex, drugs) will stimulate and arouse far more nerves and neuronal pathways and you won’t even hear the small voice inside you that says no. Watch out when you’re tired or feeling down, cause your conscious decision making can easily be overpowered by desire.
-Take a second and remind yourself that you have a choice. You are in control. Know that your world doesn’t have to remain this way. Remember that you need to change now, not tomorrow.
12. Make a pact with yourself, make it a covenant with god, make it real. When you’re down and you’ve had enough, let yourself feel that you’ve had enough because your mind has no problem.
13. Be happier in life: boost your serotonin i.e. with sunlight or changing your perspective in life (make your happiness come from you, not material objects or people). Start appreciating more, that’s the quickest way to being happy without buying stuff or whatever.
14. ALL OUT GANGSTA WAKE UP: No porn, it’s all or nothing at all starting from exactly right now. Just leave it all behind for good. Doesn’t matter if you’re an addict, it just matters that there are so many benefits to this. So let PMO be something you used to engage in, and now don’t for all the reasons that are enough to convince you- simple as that.
15. Slowly but surely: one step at a time, every month do it less. In that time discover what triggers you, why you do it, find your weaknesses and your strengths. Slowly begin rewiring your brain but be realistic and don’t lie to yourself. You can’t tell yourself after you nut that this is the last time. The last time only happens when you just don’t open porn again.
So the next time the trigger hits, the neurological pathway will produce less and less dopamine/serotonin. This works for lots of addictions but it’s not as effective here.
The rush of adrenaline with a surge of dopamine will more than often lead you to failure (desire for temporary serotonin). If you give yourself the chance to watch porn, you might be less strict. So you can lie to yourself easier here. Also, when you watch porn and nut you reset the counter back to 0 and you’re just as horny as you were from day 1 or day 100.
the challenges you face
(Lol this makes life sound like a game)
You need to understand that it’s not just a (sexual) desire anymore because addiction is something that becomes an important part of your life.
1. Porn is the easiest option you have, it’s so ******* easy to access.
The easiest option is sometimes the worse option (universal law). Yet you’re not letting go because it’s also something that pleases you cause life isn’t exactly the best for you. It’s just too good to let go from where you are, I mean you’re only a few seconds away from watching a hot video and busting a nut if you wanted to right now and no one can stop you:
In the moment it’s so great huh, you have the opportunity and it’s easy to take. And sure enough, there are benefits to masturbating:
Notice how 7 out 9 benefits are all temporary? It’s a momentary treasure that feels like gold in the moment, but it’s poison for your heart, literally.
Sexual energy is a part of you that must go somewhere, and that’s either down the drain or for a real purpose. So you can unload it on your own two hands or use your hands to do something that’s good for you.
“An ounce of semen is considered to be equal in value to sixty ounces of blood” stamina, more energy etc. are just some of the many benefits of semen retention.
And that’s the beauty of it. You can feel even better than you did when you’re fapping (long-term happiness adds up to more happiness than short-term).
Energy is the ultimate driver. Our body has constant needs (every breath) and if your willpower is weak then you’ll respond every time so instead of controlling your energy, you let your energy control you. So when you’re used to masturbating, your sexual energy will overwhelm most of you- change it and use it to levitate (lift yourself) instead.
3. It’s hard to quit
I’ve got some more bad news for you: every porn video you’ve watched has been setting you up for failure. Some of you have been doing this for years; it’s become part of your identity. The thoughts and parts of you that love PMO will get to you like there’s no escape… they are overwhelming and controlling.
Things will remain that way until it’s more painful staying the same than it is to change yourself. FYI go to advice number … to find a way to reverse the situation.
However, the worst part is not how much you like/need it, how easy it is to access or how addicted you are; it’s that this is IT for you. It’s a hard truth to face but this is your life, and this is what it’s come to cause these are your actions which you’re are deciding.
4. You love your desires so much you ignore the truth about them. Are you masturbating or experiencing?
The body doesn’t see, only the heart/soul/gut/spirit whatever you call it. Your body all depends on the feedback your brain gives, and from the images you see it’s almost a reality you’re experiencing (did you know that imagining something like you being famous can make you feel like it’s real).
There is a thin line from reality vs fiction because you’re looking at a rectangle box with sound and images that come to life (video). From the way you are consumed by it, it can be less like a pixelated video and seeing it as another, smaller world that you’re inside of. You give life and meaning to the video.
How much time do you spend looking at a screen (not just porn)? Some of you young ones were raised by a screen too. It’s always just been there for you, you can spend as much time as you want and it will never do anything bad to you. It gives you all kinds of emotions and you don’t even need to move. If your screen is your soulmate, you got another problem.
There is good on the internet but there is 10 times more BS. Consider taking a break and detoxing from technology, it can be life changing.
5. I’m stuck in a cycle that’s OK. Safe. Enough.
Even though this isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you were young, you’re surviving and it’s enough. You can go to sleep and wake up the next day. You’re slowly working your way up and fitting in just OK. You get home from school/work & find that when you can, you’re probably busting a casual nut. On the weekend it’s a bit hectic and that’s just how things are, you’re not hurting anyone. I mean, lots of guys do it too. Why should I even break this cycle?
You will never be truly satisfied. Unlike animals, we’re the only ones on this planet that can and want more. There is endless entertainment, what it is you REALLY want. If you’re still here reading about addiction, chances are, you are not everything you want to be.
Have you ever dozed off for a while in a completely different world and suddenly realised that what you were thinking was so… pointless? Have you ever procrastinated when you had something to do? What if most of your days are like that too? If every day has become too repetitive, it might not just an addiction problem anymore. You might not only be procrastinating from your daily responsibilities, but you could also be procrastinating from your own life.
No need to think twice, just small decisions like what kind of porn today, what you’ll have for lunch. And there you are, just watching the world go by, day by day while you’re in your in your own little world you that you created, occupied by repetitive empty thoughts and emotions.
Unfortunately we’re under the influence of a drug called the subconscious. The subconscious mind controls more than 90% of your day. Basically, we live on autopilot. From the minute you wake up your brain already knows what to do and expect. We are so weird, but what’s worse is that the subconscious mind mostly cares about your day, not your life in one or two years. We aren’t focused beings.
6. You’re bored, and there’s nothing else to do
You might have created a routine/plan for your day/life without even realizing. The work/school-life balance might be a routine, but every day is different (what a shocking fact) and it’s the journey that matters right? Okay, but let’s say you wrote down day on paper, how similar would every day look to you? Does your journey look like you’re just walking up and down the same street?
If porn is your final option, then please take my advice and BREAK THE CYCLE. If your only entertainment options are the usual then what makes you so different from a hamster on a wheel? Cause your cycle will only give you like two or three options. Look around you, everything in the world is unique and beautiful plus there are more things to do than there is time for. Instead of playing video games, play the game called life!
Make the most out of your time, something that you CAN look back on that grows you, educates you, helps you… Entertainment is just never enough to escape reality.
Okay so what am I supposed to do? I’m bored! Entertain me right this instant! RIGHT NOW
Question: Have you ever seen a baby crying “for no reason” and then their parents pop one of <—– these fake tiddies (baby pacifier) in their mouth and they just shut up?
Well, you might be like the baby. When you have some time to spare you need to do something, anything to occupy your brain cause what kind of crazy person would want to use their brain? That’s stupid!
So there are days you have no direction and your time at home gets a bit boring. If you’re watching TV and you’re bored, it’s not that you need to find another channel that’s showing something good- it might be your life that’s boring. So you need your next fix, something like masturbating cause you crave that amazing feeling.
Ironically, more of what you’re already doing/do every day is not enough. When you’re bored because of something you can’t fix it by doing the same thing. If you’re bored and you watch porn, you’ll just be bored after that. When you’re bored, your soul is yearning for you to do something else with your damn life. Don’t get stuck in a loop where you’re asking what now? Easy options like porn won’t fill the hole in your heart.
7. But I work hard and I need the stress to go away
Everything is your choice, maybe some of the things that stress you are because of your choices so maybe not all your choices are good choices, IDK. But if you’re working so hard, why drain your energy and time? If you’re going to struggle, you might as well work hard till you don’t have to anymore.
8. I’m single/ v desperate
I hope you come to your senses and realise that you’re having sex with yourself in your bedroom, not the girl on that rectangle screen.
Advice for my single and or desperate people: Find yourself before you find anyone else! One day you will be married. One day you’ll be with someone for the rest of your life, and you can do whatever you want with them- until then, be the best version you can for them. Make sure you can offer them more than your genitals and one ordinary holiday a year.
Goodluck!! I believe in you
And thank you for your time! I would really appreciate if you could sign your email up to my list for something amazing I’m working on that you’ll love.
It’s really worth it and I’ll only email you like once or twice, plus when I do, expect some fire memes.
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